MIKEY SMITH: I was there for JD Vance's air base speech - he did the most Donald Trump thing ever

RAF Fairford is honestly the closest you can come to being in America without getting on a plane.

At least until they finally get round to building Universal Studios in Bedford.

The cafe takes dollars. Many of the transports around the base are left hand drive.

And oh yeah, the troops are American.

So JD Vance took an afternoon out from partying with Thomas Skinner and breakfasting with Nigel Farage to say hi to US military personnel stationed here in the UK. And I went along too.

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Understandably, given the security concerns at both a military base and a Vice Presidential visit, we arrived several hours ahead of Vance's speech.

So there was plenty of time to look up the massive plane he was to speak in front of - a U-2 spy plane, of the type currently flying surveillance missions over Russia.

And plenty of time to enjoy the soundtrack of the day - a lengthy playlist taking in the Village People's Macho Man, Elton's Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting and ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man after Midnight).

In fact the playlist was so camp macho that one wonders if it was put together by Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth himself.

Before the VP's arrival, a senior officer took to the stage to remind those present that serving personnel are not allowed to express political opinions while in uniform.

A perfectly sensible idea - and to their credit, one stuck to scrupulously by every single person any of us spoke to.

But she needn't have worried. There was very little politics to come from JD.

Unlike his boss, Vance turned up for the speech precisely on schedule.

And again, unlike the Donald, his remarks were brief and largely uncontroversial.

Aside from that one line where he said peace in Ukraine would be possible because the "bad guys" are afraid of the American military...but wasn't super clear about which side he considered to be the bad guys.

And then I saw it. The most Donald Trump thing I've ever seen someone who wasn't Donald Trump do - and I've seen Lee Greenwood sing God Bless the USA live at a military parade.

While Vance was happily - and generously - chatting and shaking hands with the men and women who lined up for a meet and greet, two or three senior officers showed up with giant boxes.

And in those boxes were hundreds and hundreds of McDonalds burgers.

If I'm not mistaken, Quarterpounders with Cheese.

There were so many free cheeseburgers being handed out by the VP and his guys that they could have fed every man woman and child in the room for at least a couple of days.

The logistics of the seemingly unending stream of griddled beef alone boggled the mind.

Presumably they were a bit cold given the nearest McDonalds is a fair old drive away - and there were more sandwiches on offer than a normal sized branch.

But the troops seemed grateful.

And so ended another weird day in JD Vance's increasingly weird trip to the UK. Presumably tomorrow he'll spend the day playing golf with the remaining Chuckle brother, or get a personal guided tour of Madame Tussauds.

At this point, little would surprise me.